If you're so smart, explain this Clarissa.

Posted by David on Tuesday, February 16, 2010

As all of you may know by now, I'm a terribly judgmental person. I tend to criticize everything and I'm seldom satisfied with the people around me. I've been thinking about why that is. I'd really like to know what makes me so completely opposed to everyone.
It could be that I have this notion of innate superiority , that maybe I'm just too amazing to even need to pay attention to anyone else who isn't my friend. It could be that I sympathize and empathize with people so easily that I tend to resent them for making me feel like I'm connected to them. It could be that everyone is just incredibly annoying and I have little tolerance for their antics. At any rate I can't get past this rampant animosity I have for the world.  
Granted, I'm not really like this with my friends. I'm still judgmental, but I'm not actively hateful towards them. I reserve that special cache of emotions for strangers and those that I've never properly met. For some reason, they just irk me until I can't even stand the sight of them. These feelings have gotten much better over the years as undesirables and strangers who I'll never accept as real people have become practically invisible. This is a good thing. It means I don't have to spend as much time as I used to actively hating those who weren't directly connected to me.
Maybe I'm just petty. Maybe I'm just jealous. Maybe I'm too neurotic and none of what I've said matters at all. Maybe I should just live with this unnecessarily harsh judgmental personality of mine and I should learn to apply it to practical means. Maybe I should just get over it and stop worrying becasue it really doesn't affect anyone other than myself.
If I were some kind of revolutionary, these feelings would be hella dangerous. Luckily enough, I'm not. 

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